I was reminded today about how my obession to achieve perfection could potentially be holding me back from enjoying 'normal' things and could be keeping me held in a state of blackness.
Ive often thought my high standards were necessary, necessary to achieve something, necessary to be someone worthwhile. Is there any point aiming to achieve such unrealistic goals? Its like setting yourself up to fail.
I thrive on failure, it reinforces all the already negative thoughts my mind cannot escape from and helps me remain in the calm below reality; numbness.
I will never achieve perfection, as beauty is in the eye of the beholder, yet i remain to try.